Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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