She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
