I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
