That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
