Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
