I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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