walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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