shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
