chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
