I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
