I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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