why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
