thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
