My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
