I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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