:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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