Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Holy sore nipples Batman
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
