Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You really coming over, don't trick.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
