Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
