The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
