ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
