I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
