..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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