im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
