dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
