Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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