Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize