Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How does one acquire holy water?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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