he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
