he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
