either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
