3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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