If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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