I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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