Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
