Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i out mim tonsoeep
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