I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
