we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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