I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
