Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
