would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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