I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
