haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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