New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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