Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
