the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
