I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
