she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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