What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Shame is for Republicans.
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