Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
