saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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