Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
