she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize