I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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