so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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