so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
