bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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