Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize