I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
