I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
