wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
