man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize