when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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