do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
