i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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